🔸 BORN TO THE FAIRCHILDS, A GLOBE-TROTTING AMERICAN COUPLE, YORICK AND HIS TWIN BROTHER, LYSANDER, WEREN'T PLANNED. HIS PARENTS (A WRITER AND A ZOOLOGIST) WERE THRILL-SEEKING ADVENTURERS WHO WERE PAST THEIR PRIME WHEN THEY GOT PREGNANT AND DECIDED IT WAS A SIGN TO TRY SETTLING DOWN IN NEW ZEALAND AND LIVE A 'NORMAL' LIFE. THAT LAST ABOUT FIVE YEARS BEFORE THE FAIRCHILD FOURSOME BECAME A WORLD-TRAVELING FAMILY AGAIN. EIGHT YEARS LATER, DURING AN ADVENTURE AT SEA, YORICK ENDED UP THE SOLE SURVIVOR OF A FREAK STORM THAT FIRST STRUCK AND THEN CAPSIZED THEIR BOAT. THE BODIES OF HIS PARENTS AND BROTHER WERE LOST AT SEA. ONCE RESCUED, YORICK WAS PLACED IN A MEDICALLY INDUCED COMA DUE TO BRAIN SWELLING. WHEN YORICK CAME TO, MONTHS LATER, HE HAD LOST SOME MEMORIES, NAMELY THE LAST FEW MOMENTS WITH HIS FAMILY AT SEA. WITH NO LIVING BLOOD RELATIVES, HE WAS EVENTUALLY SENT TO LIVE WITH THE FAMILY'S LIFELONG FRIENDS IN AMERICA: THE MONTILYETS.

🔸 WENT TO AN ALL BOYS PRIVATE SCHOOL IN NEW YORK CITY. AFTER YEARS OF HOMESCHOOLING AND TRAVELING THE WORLD, YORICK FOUND IT RATHER DULL TO BE IN ONE PLACE. THE SCHOOL'S CURRICULUM WAS CHALLENGING ENOUGH, BUT HE WAS UNABLE TO SIT STILL FOR EXTENDED PERIODS. FOLLOWING THE RULES ALSO SEEMED TO BE A PROBLEM, MOSTLY BECAUSE YORICK HAD NO IDEA WHY CERTAIN ONES WERE WORTHY OF ENFORCING. HE WAS CONSTANTLY IN THE HEADMASTER'S OFFICE. THIS GOT HIM LABELED A TROUBLEMAKER EARLY ON. THINGS AT HOME WERE GOOD THOUGH. THE MONTILYETS WERE JUST AS INTELLIGENT AND FUNNY AND DRIVEN AS HIS PARENTS WERE. AND, BEING A BIT YOUNGER, YORICK GOT ALONG GREAT WITH THEM. HE NEVER LACKED LOVE OR INTELLECTUAL STIMULATION AT HOME, JUST DISCIPLINE. LIKE HIS FOLKS, THE MONTILYETS HAD A LACKADAISICAL PARENTING STYLE THAT FOCUSED MORE ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCES RATHER THAN LECTURES AND RULES.

🔸 SKIPPED UNIVERSITY AND TURNED HIS GAP YEAR INTO A GAP LIFE. TRAVELED EUROPE, ASIA, SOUTH AMERICA, AND SO ON, PICKING RIGHT UP WHERE HIS PARENTS LEFT OFF. AS FATE WOULD HAVE IT, DURING A RESPITE BACK HOME IN AMERICA, YORICK MET THE WOMAN OF HIS DREAMS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PERSON. HER NAME WAS AJ AND SHE WAS A SKILLED HACKER THAT YORICK HAD MET ONLINE DURING HIS TIME EXPLORING THE DARKER PARTS OF THE INTERNET. AJ WAS ONE OF THE MOST CHARMING, INTELLIGENT AND FREE-SPIRITED PEOPLE HE HAD EVER MET, AND THE FIRST WHO COULD KEEP UP WITH HIM. HE FELL IN LOVE WITH HER AFTER ONLY A FEW DAYS. HOWEVER, SHE LOVED HER LIFE IN NEW YORK AND DIDN'T WANT TO FOLLOW HIM AROUND THE WORLD. SO YORICK GAVE UP TRAVELING AND MOVED INFO HER TINY APARTMENT. THE FIRST FEW MONTHS WERE MAGICAL. AJ WAS AMAZING, ATTENTIVE, ADORING AND SHE WAS SPONTANEOUS IN A WAY THAT KEPT THEIR RELATIONSHIP ALWAYS IN THAT HONEYMOON PHASE. EVENTUALLY, REALITY SLAMMED INTO THEM, WHEN THE AJ HE KNEW TURNED ON A DIME AND BECAME A SULLEN, AGORAPHOBIC, CONFUSING MESS. THAT'S WHEN HE LEARNED SHE WAS BIPOLAR AND HAD GONE OFF THE MEDS THAT HAD KEPT HER LEVEL FOR YEARS. BY THEN, HOWEVER, YORICK WAS TOO INVESTED TO GIVE UP ON HER, STILL YOUNG AND DUMB ENOUGH TO THINK IF HE LOVED HER HARD ENOUGH, IF HE TRIED TO MAKE HER HAPPY AT ALL COSTS, HE COULD FIX HER.

🔸 THEY CONTINUED LIKE THIS FOR YEARS, YORICK ATTEMPTING TO RIDING THE MANIC ROLLER COASTER ALONGSIDE AJ. DURING THE SAME TIME, YORICK ALSO LEARNED THAT AJ WAS A RATHER EXPERIENCED CYBER CRIMINAL. SHE TAUGHT HIM HOW TO HONE HIS CODING SKILLS, GUIDING HIM FURTHER DOWN HER DARK RABBIT HOLE. IT WAS EASY MONEY WHEN YOU COULD TAKE SOME STRANGER'S DIGITAL CURRENCY WITH A FEW KEYSTROKES. THEY PARTYED AWAY THEIR EARLY TWENTIES AT THE COST OF EVERYONE ELSE. IN THE COURSE OF ONE DRUG-FUELED BINGE, THEY DEVELOPED A COMPUTER VIRUS TOGETHER, JUST BECAUSE THEY COULD. THEY NAMED THE VIRUS 'AGENT ORANGE' FOR ITS DEADLY EFFECTS. THE VIRUS COULD INFECT SYSTEMS, UNDETECTABLE BY THE AVERAGE SECURITY SOFTWARE, AND COPY ALL THE PERSONAL INFORMATION OF THE USER AND TRANSFORMING THAT DATA INTO A BOT THAT, ESSENTIALLY, BECAME THE NEW DIGITAL VERSION OF THAT USER. THE VIRUS WOULD THEN ERASE ALL THE ORIGINAL DATA AND ANY ATTACHMENT TO THE PRIOR IDENTITY, STEALING NOT JUST DIGITAL CURRENCY, BUT A PERSON'S ENTIRE LIFE FROM THEM. THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA, BANK ACCOUNTS, CREDIT SCORE, SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, EVEN THEIR DIGITAL FOOTPRINT ALL BELONGED TO AGENT ORANGE.

🔸 KNOWING HOW DANGEROUS AGENT ORANGE COULD BE, NOT ONLY FOR OTHERS BUT FOR AJ AND HIMSELF AS WELL, YORICK CONVINCED AJ TO DELETE THE CODE. AND HE THOUGHT SHE HAD, UNTIL THE RUMOR OF DIGITAL TERRORISM HIT HIS NEWS FEED, WITH AGENT ORANGE AS THE CULPRIT. ALTHOUGH AJ DENIED RELEASE IT, SHE DID AGREE TO GO ON THE RUN WITH YORICK, ONCE HE LAID OUT THE DANGER THEY WERE IN. EVERYONE FROM CYBER CRIMES UNITS TO EVEN MORE DANGEROUS HACKERS WANTED THE SOURCE CODE. OF COURSE, BEING ON THE RUN, WITHOUT STRUCTURE AND SUPPORT SYSTEMS, AJ SPIRAL QUICKLY. IN EFFORT TO SAVE HER (AND HIMSELF), YORICK TURNED TO A LEADING CYBER SECURITY COMPANY AND CLAIMED HE KNEW HOW TO STOP THE VIRUS FROM SPREADING. THEY STRUCK A DEAL, NO QUESTIONS ASKED, IF HE WOULD CREATE A PROPRIETARY VIRTUAL DEFENSE SOFTWARE FOR THEM TO SELL. IN RETURN, THE COMPANY WOULD PROVIDE HIM WITH A VERY LUCRATIVE SUM OF MONEY, AS WELL AS ANY AND ALL LEGAL AID HE MIGHT NEED. AT THE TIME, HE REFUSED TO ADMIT HE CREATED THE VIRUS, BUT HAS SINCE COME CLEAN IN RECENT YEARS AND HAS TRIED TO MAKE UP FOR RUINING LIVES AS MUCH AS HE CAN.

🔸 AFTER YORICK DONATED ALMOST ALL OF THE MONEY HE MADE OFF THE ANTI-VIRUS TO CHARITIES AROUND THE WORLD, IT CAUSED A RIFT BETWEEN HIMSELF AND AJ. SHE THOUGHT HE WAS THROWING AWAY HER MONEY, FAILING TO SEE THE BLOOD STAINS ON IT. YORICK THOUGHT HE WAS DOING THE RIGHT THING, THE GOOD THING, BUT AJ COULDN'T LET IT GO. EVENTUALLY, SHE LEFT HIM AND MOVED BACK HOME TO CALIFORNIA TO LIVE WITH HER PARENTS. YORICK KNEW IT WAS FOR THE BEST. HER PARENTS HAD DEALT WITH HER MENTAL ILLNESS BEFORE, AND THEY HAD THE RESOURCES TO HELP HER. SO YORICK PICKED UP HIS BAG AND SPENT SOME TIME LIVING UP TO HIS FAMILY'S ADVENTUROUS NATURE, TRAVELING THE WORLD ONCE MORE AND SEEING THE GOOD HIS MONEY HAD DONE. A FEW MONTHS LATER, HE GOT A CALL. AJ WAS PREGNANT.

🔸 CLEMENTINE FAIRCHILD WAS BORN OCTOBER 15TH, 2014. THE MOMENT YORICK HELD HER, HE KNEW HE WAS DONE BEING CAREFREE, DONE LIVING LIFE AS THOUGH EVERY MOMENT WAS HIS LAST. HE WAS A DAD NOW. HE HAD TO SETTLE DOWN AND MAKE A REAL LIFE FOR THIS SPECIAL LITTLE PERSON -- A BETTER, SAFER LIFE THAN THE ONE HIS OWN PARENTS HAD PROVIDED HIM. HE USED THE VERY LAST OF HIS MONEY TO BUY A PLACE NEAR AJ IN SAN FRANCISCO, A CUTE LITTLE THREE STORY WITH A RETAIL SPACE ON THE BOTTOM FLOOR. IT TOOK HIM A COUPLE YEARS TO DECIDE WHAT HE WANTED TO DO WITH THE RETAIL SPACE, MAKING ONE ATTEMPT AFTER ANOTHER AT OPENING A STABLE BUSINESS, MOST OF WHICH WERE HILAROUSLY BAD -- EXOTIC FISH TRADER BEING THE WORST OF THOSE. TO HIS CREIDT, HE WAS MORE FOCUSED ON BUILDING A NORMAL FOR HIS DAUGHTER AND LEARNING HOW TO DOING DOMESTIC THINGS, LIKE LAUNDRY AND COOKING MEALS THAT DIDN'T INVOLVE A MICROWAVE.

🔸 BAKING TURNED OUT TO BE ONE OF THOSE DOMESTIC THINGS THAT HE REALLY ENDED UP ENJOYING. ONCE YORICK DISCOVERED HE WAS ACTUALLY GOOD AT IT TOO, HE FINALLY SETTTLED ON OPENING A BAKERY. HIS SPECIALTY BECAME DECORATING THE PRODUCTS INTO FUN, UNIQUE, AND SOMETIMES SCARY THINGS. LAYERED CAKES WITH SCENES PAINTED IN THEM FROM HIS FAVORITE HORROR MOVIES, COOKIES THAT LOOKED LIKE FAMOUS MONSTERS, THEY ALL LOOKED COOL AND TASTED EVEN BETTER. IT TOOK A LOT OF HARD WORK, BUT EVENTUALLY HE TURNED THAT TALENT INTO A BAKERY, OPENING "WEIRDOUGH" IN 2018. IT'S A SMALL, SELF-OWNED, SELF-RUN BUSINESS THAT MAYBE DOESN'T DO SO WELL DAY-TO-DAY (SINCE YORICK STILL HAS TROUBLE WITH ORGANIZATION AND ROUTINE) BUT IT'S SOMETHING HE CAN BE PROUD OF. CURRENTLY, HE'S STRUGGLING WITH THE IDEA OF GETTING LICENSED TO CREATE AND SELL EDIBLES. HE KNOWS IT'LL TRIPLE SALES, BUT HE'D FEEL A BIT LIKE A HYPOCRITE PROMOTING DRUG USE, EVEN IF IT'S MEDICINAL.

🔸 UNFORTUNATELY, AJ DID NOT SETTLE DOWN AS SUCCESSFULLY. THE ENTIRE TIME YORICK HAD KNOWN HER, AJ HAD STRUGGLED WITH NOT ONLY HER MENTAL ILLNESS, BUT ADDICTION AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE AS WELL. ONCE SHE FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT, HOWEVER, AJ HAD GOTTEN CLEAN. YORICK HAD ASSUMED SHE'D STAYED THAT WAY AFTER THE BIRTH OF THEIR DAUGHTER, BUT SHE JUST GOT A LOT BETTER ABOUT HIDING HER USAGE. WHEN SHE SUDDENLY BECAME A WHIRLWIND OF DESTRUCTION LAST YEAR, IT BROUGHT HER ACTIVE USE TO LIGHT. FURIOUS, YORICK TRIED TO TAKE HIS DAUGHTER FROM HER AND IT GOT VERY UGLY. THE BUILDING WAR BETWEEN THEM ENDED THE MORNING SHE WAS FOUND DEAD BY HER PARENTS, VICTIM OF AN OPIOID OVERDOSE. BY THEN, HOWEVER, AJ HAD WARPED HER PARENTS' IDEA OF YORICK, AND THEY ENDED UP BLAMING HIM FOR HER ULTIMATE FATE. SINCE THERE WAS NO OFFICIAL CUSTODY ARRANGEMENT BETWEEN HER AND YORICK AT THE TIME OF HER DEATH, HIS DAUGHTER CAME INTO PRIMARY CUSTODY OF AJ'S PARENTS. THEY CLAIMED IT WAS BEST FOR CLEM TO STAY IN AN ENVIRONMENT THAT SHE KNEW WHILE SHE PROCESSED HER MOTHER'S PASSING.

🔸 MOST RECENTLY, YORICK WAS ABLE TO WIN SHARED CUSTODY OF HIS DAUGHTER IN FAMILY COURT. AFTER THE SMEAR CAMPAIN THE KINGS PUT HIM THROUGH, SHARED CUSTODY WAS THE BEST THE JUDGE COULD DO. ALTHOUGH HE'S THRILLED TO BE WITH HIS DAUGHTER ON THE WEEKENDS, YORICK IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE IDEA OF AJ'S PARENTS HAVING ANY SAY IN HIS KID'S LIFE AFTER THE BANG-UP JOB THEY DID WITH THEIR OWN DAUGHTER. YORICK KNOWS HE WON'T STOP FIGHTING UNTIL CLEM IS HOME WITH HIM, WHERE SHE BELONGS, EVERYDAY.

quick facts • owns weirdough (bakery) and lives on the floor above it.
• CONSIDERS HIMSELF AN OPTIMIST -- HE KNOWS PEOPLE ARE COMPLICATED CREATURES AND CAN EVOLVE OVER TIME, IF THEY TRY.
• genetically a chinese/spanish/german/irish mutt, with a hodgepod accent from extensive traveling.
• STILL CARRIES HIS LIFE IN A BOOKBAG LIKE A TEENAGE RUNAWAY.
• LOVES VIDEO GAMES AND TOYS PROBABLY MORE THAN HIS KID DOES.
• IS AWARE THAT HE'S BASICALLY PETER PAN... WITH A DAD-BOD.
• SUFFERS FROM OCCASSIONAL DOUBLE VISION, HAND TREMORS, AND TINNITUS AS A RESULT OF PAST TRAUMA TO THE BRAIN AT A YOUNG AGE.
• HAS BEEN SOBER SINCE THE DAY HIS DAUGHTER WAS BORN. NO DRINK OR DRUG EVER COMPARED TO THE EUPHORIA OF HOLDING HIS BABY FOR THE FIRST TIME.
• RARELY ON TIME ANYWHERE BECAUSE HE TRIES TO STAY AS ACTIVE & BUSY AS POSSIBLE.
• RUNS LOCAL AA MEETINGS ON WEDNESDAY AND SUNDAY NIGHTS. 100% BELIEVES THAT IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT.
• ALSO INVESTS HEAVILY IN COMMUNITY THEATER, FUNDRAISING, BUILDING SETS, SEWING COSTUMES, HANDING OUT PLAYBILLS, DIRECTING, AND EVEN ACTING, WHEN THEY'RE DESPERATE ENOUGH.
• PARENTS WERE BUDDHISTS. ADOPTIVE FAMILY IS HIGHLY SPIRITUAL. CONSIDERS HIMSELF AN OMNIST, IF ANYTHING.
• LOVES SCARY MOVIES AND THE HORROR GENRE IN GENERAL. HALLOWEEN IS HIS FAVORITE HOLIDAY.
• doesn't have a middle name. tends to make a different one up whenever asked.